Tuesday , August 9 2022

Early menopause: I thought I was pregnant


Nicole Evans was diagnosed with early menopause at the age of 30. Evans writes to the BBC 100 women about the effect of infertility and how it assimilates the diagnosis.

For several years my periods were less abundant, but when I mentioned it to the health professionals of New Zealand and my country, they attributed it to the natural effect of the pill. When the month did not reach my time, I went to an excited doctor because I thought I would be pregnant. I got married the year before, and we started talking about a baby.

but The pregnancy test was negative. My doctor did a blood test and quoted me for another visit to explain that my hormone levels were not normal. Referred me to a hormone specialist, and was diagnosed with early menopause. I did not know ovaries could stop working at this age, it was an amazing shock.

Today's feminism tells us that we have everything and that we need to want everything, our conditions and our rhythms. But the price we pay for this lie when circumstances intervene in the way we planned is very high.

I think famous people have a lot to do in terms of raising awareness about productivity. When it turns out by mistake that a woman's fertility is, directly or indirectly, something that exists easily until after the age of 50, it is easy to ignore the signs that there may be problems. I had no idea that usually, The woman's fertility begins to decline in 30 years.

We decided to do in vitro fertilization with an egg donor, a wonderful friend. We felt very optimistic and expected that this would be the solution to all our problems. However, we end up with one viable pass embryo and it does not end with pregnancy. It was very sad for all of us involved.

A year later, another friend offered to help us, but this time I had many doubts. It was the last circle funded by the government, and psychologically I felt safer during therapy. When you are in the middle of fertility treatment, it can be very difficult to even go out the door every morning.

But we decided to bet on the second cycle because he was 32 years old. Time was running.

What is menopause?

  • Menopause is the biological stage in a woman's life that begins when she stops her period
  • Periods can be less common for months or years before menopause
  • Other symptoms are hot flashes, lack of concentration, headaches, anxiety, reduced sexual desire and sleep difficulties
  • Menopause usually occurs between 45 and 55 years
  • About 100 women under the age of 40 have early menopause, also known as premature ovarian failure

Source: NHS UK

Unfortunately, two transplants of this cycle did not become pregnancies, nor did we have the financial or emotional resources to invest in the third cycle.

I could not consider adoption. After undergoing physical therapy, I had to start another intervention (on our relationships, work, family life, finances) as part of an exhausting process. Of course, I understood why it was necessary, but I did not see myself able to deal with it after the trauma I had already experienced.

I got to the bottom. Emotional pain over the loss of our potential children I followed him AHY., But a lot of rational we try to overcome it. And the anguish I felt until a certain night. I was with a friend and a girl, and after they left I noticed that the desire to give birth had disappeared. Simply, he disappeared.

I could not explain it in any other way: I believe that God took from me the deep longing of the heart. And if I look back, now I know it's because I had something more planned for me: a closer relationship with him.

It seems that a large number of physicians are unaware of early menopause. I talked to many women in the support group I refer to when they inform the doctor that their periods have become irregular, referring them to experts long after a delay.

I'm in Hormone replacement therapy Ever since I was diagnosed. I am grateful for this treatment, because even in the 1940s, as now, it is very difficult to talk about the hot flashes, the bad mood and the mental fog brought by menopause. You feel too embarrassed when it comes to talking.

Do not have to buy sanitary products every month is an advantage. But it took me a while to get to know the positive aspects that way.

I believe that Western culture, the face of aging and distress, prevents us from coping with the natural processes of life. We are so specialized in distracting from a difficult reality, feeding ourselves into comfortable lies, that we have a very limited idea of ​​what makes life truly satisfying.

Early menopause may have caused me a lot of pain, but it also revealed The deception that real satisfaction lies in health, youth and wholeness. Our journey through fertility was a crisis and we had to rebuild our world from scratch, but it certainly strengthened both of us separately and as a couple.

He taught us many lessons: that our true identity transcends our circumstances; Think about the blessings we have; There is more compassion for others; And to access life with an open mind, among others. Maybe we do not have everything, but we have everything we need.

This note is part of the season # 100 women, winning several international awards, where the BBC devotes annually, since 2013, a great place for women, and draws a list of 100 women from around the world highlighted by their achievements, struggles or extraordinary experiences.

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