Friday , May 14 2021

“The plus of divorced parents is that they can take a break from their children”

– I know your kids are already going to school, but how did it go when the three of you were locked up at home?

– Our school has clearly defined all the guidelines – children should learn independence, responsibility, and mothers should not sit next to each other and control which page to open or what to do for homework. As much as possible, I was around, but did not interfere too much in the learning itself.

I myself do not believe that tea is finishing fourth grade, Amil is finishing first grade – I feel like a mother who is so young and the children are so big and independent! I wake up in the morning and they prepare themselves, make breakfast and pamper my mom. I live it pretty well.

– Few will believe, but you are a strict mother. Right?

Yes, I’m strict. Wow and now, before the interview, I was able to change the order in the room before I went to my daughter’s room. We love children unconditionally, but they must develop these responsibility skills. You do not want to have to be taught to live in basic details – after dinner, take the plate to the sink, and after the games, order fine.

Maybe I’m wrong and sometimes I’m hot, but no one taught me how to be a mom, so I have a weird understanding of how these kids need to grow up, educate and that’s what I follow. Since my parents raised me, I try to raise my children in a similar way.

– Some parents behave contrary to what is raised, while others act according to the principles brought from the family. What option do you have?

– I can not say that the second option, perhaps a combination. We are all mothers raising the same children according to our opinion and intuition. We often abandon the principles of education that we did not like in our childhood as our parents raised them. In addition, life itself has changed, not only the approach to raising children, but also the world has improved.

This psychological analysis of children is now very much described – I like to follow the opinions of professionals, so I do not miss articles on raising children, psychology. Now we delve deeper into children. Remember when we grew up – the key under your neck, go outside, come back, bake the egg and wait for the parents. Now times are different and growth is naturally different.

– How did motherhood change you?

– changed and very strong – I became more responsible, more relaxed. This feeling of unconditional love made me so deep, I have more compassion and understanding, I changed the theme of value in general.

– What are the principles for raising children? What is important to raise in children?

Strict guidelines about what I want from them, what I want to cultivate – I do not and do not even want to imagine, because usually when we create criteria and goals, we try to convey our unfulfilled dreams to children, when we do not, we are disappointed and underestimate ourselves as parents. I think children should be given freedom and easily referred without feeling it happening.

– How many children communicate with their father?

– There is a lot of communication, I am very happy about it. At this point, the son to the father, the daughter to me, is the opposite, or both to the father, to me as well. Although we live in the ward, we are convinced that children should not be divided according to a schedule and torn on weekends. There is a free schedule, and the children themselves are great and show initiative or desire to go to Dad or be with Mom. We do not limit them in this context so that they do not feel uncomfortable. Parental disagreements about children go into the background.

– How did you explain to the children when you divorced?

We talked a lot, but talking is one thing, but giving an example is something else. For children, divorce is scary because they do not know what it will be like, their routine changes and their safety zone are shaky. It naturally happens that the child is confused, nervous. We talked to the children that father and mother will start living separately, but you will have both father and mother, you will have two houses, nothing will change, only the parents will not live together. At first it was hard to understand, but in the course of my life I realized that everything is normal and good.

– Sometimes it’s fun to have two rooms and a double gift?

– They enjoy and sometimes like to admit to manipulation. Sometimes we sit with my son and do homework, I get angry, I tell him to do my homework now, and he says – I’ll call Dad. Dad and I agree that debts are prior so there is no room for manipulation. Together with the children we learn how to solve certain nuances while living in the ward. I hope that by now we are getting along well, what will happen next – I do not know.

I admit that the advantage for divorced parents is that father and mother can take a break from their children, as it is very important, especially during an epidemic where the children are staying with us. We humans get tired too, I get tired too, sometimes it seems like I can not, I no longer have patience, so sometimes I am very happy when the kids are with Dad and I do not turn my head. Children have both a father and a mother, I am not one of those who hold and forbid to travel, to be. Sometimes I am glad I have time for myself to rest and when they come back I can be a dedicated, tired and not angry mother.

– And what advice would you give to other women who are considering divorce for various reasons but are afraid?

– If the mother is unhappy, so are the children. If you feel uncomfortable at home, I think you should not tear up and let the children see your mother constantly miserable, crying. So it is better to make decisions and live happily. Obviously we women often underestimate ourselves, we start thinking about real things.

Psychological things are one, we live with them later, but there are things like money, jobs, fear or the ability to take them alone, collect them, keep them, whether the income is stable and where we will have to live. Here are some important things that women often ask and usually stop them.

Honestly, it was hard to imagine immersing yourself in motherhood like that!

– When I started waiting for tea, I stopped my stage career maybe in the third month of pregnancy. After I gave birth to my daughter, I said I would not return to the stage at all because I wanted to raise children. I wanted to be the best mother my children could be. I never bought puree or porridge – I always did everything myself: I cooked on steam, peeled vegetables. I’m so glad I didn ‘t miss any of them. The moment of life – from the first step, the first tooth. This is very important to me – children grow very fast and not seeing the development of their baby was sad.

– What will be your summer?

– We plan to return to work and performances as soon as possible. In the summer we plan a lot of concerts, parties, weddings, baptisms … we gather all the forces, we wait.

We have a tradition with our children to go on a trip to a foreign country every year – we fly, rent a car and travel. Last year failed, I hope these will succeed.

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